January 13, 2014

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another Orgasm?

I was recently asked by a married, male friend of mine, "Why don't women like sex as much as we men do?"

I was caught off guard at first. Not because of the sexual nature of the question, that didn't bother me at all. I'm open about my sexuality with my friends, and encourage them to be as well. I think it's healthy. I was caught off guard because my initial, knee-jerk response was "WTF? Of course we do!" He then looked puzzled and even more confused. Oops. 

Photo Credit: http://www.cosmopolitan.com/

Yes. Shocker. Women like sex. Maybe even more so then men, because if you're one of the lucky women who can have multiple orgasms - how could you not love sex? Sure...men may be able to have more than one orgasm as well, but it's an awful lot more work...

Anywho...I digress. 

I'm sure there are a lot of women, and men, out there who are shy. Maybe it's because of their upbringing, maybe it's because of society telling us women that if we enjoy sex we must automatically be labeled whores. I call b.s. You should be able to allow yourself to enjoy sex and all the greatness it can bring. I mean, who doesn't get a great nights sleep after a "release"?! Those O induced sleeps are EVERYTHING

Back to the original question. I think there are many other factors that can come to play in this scenario. If you're in a situation when it seems like your significant other isn't as interested in sex as you are, take a step back and think for a second. What else is going on in their life that may be distracting them? Are they stressed out at work? Do you have children that are driving you both bonkers? Maybe there is more to it. Is it something you can work on? 

You should sit down and have an honest conversation about your sex life. It may not be the easiest thing to do, but it has to be done. Don't be selfish though. Understand that you have to be ready and willing to accept what comes from your significant other. Appreciate their honesty, it may not be what you were expecting but understand that it took a lot of courage for them to open up to you. Keep your mind open and free of judgement. Your partner may request that another person be added to your twosome....is this something you are going to be ok with? What if they want to introduce a more dominant/submissive lifestyle? Think you could handle it?

When you're in a long term relationship, things can often become predictable and stale. A.K.A - BORING. Remember that passion you felt when you first started dating? When you could barely keep your hands to yourself and all your senses were heightened? Yeah...that passion! Bring that passion back! Sit down and talk about your sex life. Is there something your significant other wants to try? Bring a little kink to the bedroom (or anywhere else you want to do the nasty!) handcuffs....use one of your ties as a blindfold....introduce toys. Discuss everything and set some boundaries based on each of your comfort levels. 

Maybe there is something you can do on your own too. Cosmo offers LOTS of tips and tricks to spice things up. Surprise her with a new technique and WOW her!

Women have been taught that it's not right, or acceptable to enjoy sex. We're taught to be proper. Be a lady.... 

But ladies, as Luda said, be a lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. Let go and enjoy yourself! Trust me, it's worth it!

P.S - Have you read the Fifty Shades Trilogy? It's been a hit for a reason....just saying. 

1 comment:

  1. I've found over the last few years, especially as I entered 30, that the subject isn't about enjoyment of sex, it's about getting past the stigma of enjoying it. I know many women who have multiple partners and are very fulfilled (har hard) as a result. With friends (and in some rare cases family) who are accepting of the fact they enjoy casual sex, the insecurity that could come with it drops, and the enjoyment of the physical is all that remains.